Okay so we all know that pride is bad. I mean it is in nearly every piece of decent literature and something you have likely been told since you could walk. It is important knowledge, I’m not going to knock that or try to disagree with Milton, Spenser etc. (I mean seriously what would the point be of disagreeing with them, automatic incorrect.) But it is deeper than that.
Pride keeps us from being able to love each other. We allow our pride to become more important than the beautiful and desperate person sitting in front of us. We have disagreements with friends and family that take a toll on our pride and then lose them and the opportunity to love. All for what? The ability to say that we might have been right?
Don’t get me wrong, we need to be able to speak truth and have honest conversations. But we should never allow our pride to overrule our love. That is tragedy. The fact that we don’t even realize that is the reality more often than is one of the tragedies that marks humankind.
It does not end have to end there though. Tragedy is always a choice and in this life we can choose our own endings. And the solution is real love.
Real love has very little to do with the feelings that we usually associate with love. This kind of love is not feeling swoony when you are near your crush. Or what the movies show. There is not anything inherently wrong with these feelings of affection. But do not mistake them for love.
Real love is wanting the other person’s best interest, even if it hurts you. Real love is when you do something that you would rather not do, because you know it will make the person you love happy and make their life better. Real love is rarely demonstrated in times when life is easy. Love comes through in tough times, the desire to stick by someone no matter what happens. This is not necessarily romantic love, but love for anyone.
This kind of love is hard. It takes work to really love a person. You have to deal with the messiness of life. Love does not allow relationships to stay at a surface level. It is much easier and prideful to not love this way, but without it life is not worth it.
It is this kind of love that becomes impossible with our blinding pride. To not love this way is a kind of pride. It tells others that they are disposable. People are never disposable. People are not meant to exist in the isolation created by pride. Pride keeps us from truly connecting with others. We need to stop being so concerned about not being perfect and more concerned with the well-being of others.
Life is messy for all of us.
When we would rather save face than be honest and vulnerable – we lose. This is no ordinary loss, it is a type of loss more tragic than we usually encounter in other circumstances. Not only do we hurt ourselves by this kind of choice, we hurt everyone around us. We disengage from the ability to truly love others. People lose the love they so desperately want and need from you and in turn you also lose out on those relationships. A vicious and painful cycle.
Life is not about appearances. We place so much emphasis and pride on what people may or may not think of us that we allow our value to become surface level, rather than search for depth. There is so much more in this life that is more valuable than outward appearances. Move on.
Be willing to be wrong. Accept that someone else may not view life as you do. It is only through this kind of connection that we can truly understand each other.
“It's easier to lose yourself in drugs than it is to cope with life. It's easier to steal what you want than it is to earn it. It's easier to beat a child than it is to raise it. Hell, love costs: it takes effort and work.” - Morgan Freeman in Seven
No comments:
Post a Comment