Busy-ness is an Illusion

You read that right. Busy-ness is an illusion. More than ironic a few days before finals week hits and I’ve been talking about how busy I am, but it is true. And it is something I have been saying for quite some time.

 Sure we all have things we HAVE to do. The uncompromised-able aspects of lives, and often these keep us busy. However, we make choices, and our choices make-up our priorities either intentionally or inadvertently. These choices are our busy-ness, not the other way around. For example, I am currently choosing to write this blog rather than a paper on Frankenstein. You are choosing to read this blog rather than something else. 

But that is just it. We all make choices that we must then live by their repercussions. I, for example, will be up late writing a paper on Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley’s novel, because I made the CHOICE to procrastinate (or enlighten, depending on your view).  There are some things in life that have to be priorities, these things change with time. For me now my priorities with my time have to be homework, and Spencer. Relationships need time invested in them (for more on this hold tight, I have a blog in the works…aka in my mind). This means I have to sacrifice other parts of my life and make choices to make these things my priority. 

Okay okay okay, so priorities are choices, but what does this realistically mean?
It means that when a friend (or really anyone) asks you to hang out and you say “No, I’m busy.”  What you are really saying is you are not my priority. While there are times this simply has to be the case. I haven’t seen some of my friends lately, because it is almost finals week and school is kicking my butt. For me school needs to be a priority right now, as is likely for anyone who has student status right now. 

More often though, we are really trying to make ourselves feel better about saying “no” to someone. We are busy the to-do list goes on forever. NEWSFLASH: from all the data I’ve gathered the ‘to-do’ list goes on throughout life. If you don’t prioritize people who matter now you never will. We are not too busy for people, or certain activities they just are not as important to us.

There is nothing inherently wrong with this. It is just a fact of life. We cannot conceivably do everything that is asked of us always. But at the same time we need to be honest with ourselves and others. We need to think through our priorities. Are they in the right place? Do they need re-evaluation?

This also means being careful. Making a promise to someone that you are then “too busy” to follow through on, then means that you do not value the other person, the promise, or your word. Is that really how you want to live? Be seen? Act?

“Action expresses priorities” …and value.